I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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