My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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