I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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