hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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