Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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