Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
