I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is my gift to your gina
try to milk me bitch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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