If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
