Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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