I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
