it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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