Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
