loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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