I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
