I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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