my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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