we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
