She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
