He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
