I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
