what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
