I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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