JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize