Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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