He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
