I feel great
I just peed on a car
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
