I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
