And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
