He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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