Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I pour the whiskey from now on
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
