do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
