ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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