There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
