Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
