He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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