The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
