real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
