tell your sister to shave her snatch
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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