I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
