Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
