I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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