belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
