so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
