From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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