Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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