i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
