So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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