whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
