My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
