And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
