My brain says no but my pants say off.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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