take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
