after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
