We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are we still banned from the library?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
