He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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