she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
