You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
